Im writing this as we approach the culmination of months of Project Fear / Project Optimisim and make-up-any-statistic-to-prove-your-point-because-the-electorate-are-too-stupid-to-notice. With that in mind, we have some last minute amendments to the 2016 running of C2C2C:
- This year we will make the event 160km / 200km long to keep the Remainers happy, but will continue to ride on the left to keep the Brexiteers smiling.
- If you sign up and complete the ride, you are 43.7% more likely to be better off by 23 March 2029 according to Mick McManus. At 4:17pm, since you ask.
- If you support Remain, then we have an 'In Route' for you; when you leave Chapel Point, you have to hum Ode to Joy as well as the National Anthems of the 28 member states, whilst recalling the names of your local MEPs
- For the Brexiteers, we have an 'Out Route' which leaves Lindum Sports Association heading towards Europe, and you will be served bendy bananas, but you will have to show your passport as you cross the A16, whilst quoting the St Crispin's Day speech from Henry V.
Update post referendum
If we haven't gone to hell in a handcart by 7 July (because the sky is going to fall down), then good luck. Ride on the left, keep calm and carry on. And ardent remainers now only have to hum 27 National Anthems, but bonus points if you can remember verse 3 of Flower of Scotland...
Right on with business:
On the Day
Pay attention at the back of the class. Gregory, take your finger out of Harrison's ear and pay attention; this is important and there will be a test on 7 July. If you end up in Derbyshire, you will only have yourself to blame. It's not big and it's not clever not to read the rest of this email.
START / REGISTRATION
The start point will be from
Lindum Sports Association Wragby Road Lincoln LN2 4PE
Limited parking is now available on site, turn in through the gates on the right, part way down St Giles Avenue. Please follow instructions re parking so we can fit maximum number on site. If you live in Lincoln, please cycle to the start; all others please car share or be prepared to park nearby.
Remember you should plan your start time so that you arrive back at Lindum sports ground between 4:00pm and 6:00pm, allowing for food stops, map reading, lunch, discussing chamois inserts and generally faffing around x number of people in your team etc.
We will have volunteers (smile at them, they don't bite) on site from 07:00 until 10:00, co- ordinated by Jeannine, aka Miss Lindum.
ALL RIDERS will need to sign in with our volunteers so we know who is out there. You cannot be signed in by a team leader. You will also be asked to sign our disclaimer that states you are a sentient adult without a death wish, and want to arrive back in one piece. (See note to adults below)
Wristband my friend ..
You gotta have a wristband. If you don't have a wrist and, my friend - you don't get fed and watered. [Thanks to Paul Simon for co-writing our newsletter]
We will have a limited number of printed route maps at the start, so please print your own beforehand and bring along. You can also download maps for GPS via our website: C2C2C.co.uk/the-route.html. On each map image, click on View the Full route and it will take you to the map within the RidewithGPS site. Someone has kindly put up the full 100 mile route as a single file at http://www.bikemap.net/en/route/2015471-lincoln-castle-to- coast-to-castle/#/z13/53.23779,-0.44837/terrain
When leaving Lindum Sports, you have two choices; we have drawn the PDF maps showing the route heading directly out of Lincoln without visiting the castle first. If you have downloaded the Garmin maps, it goes via the Castle on the way out of Lincoln. It's up to you, but we thought it easier for most to avoid morning rush hour traffic around the Cathedral / Castle.
We have placed strategic green arrows on white background at junctions to help routing, but the printed maps are sufficient to find you way around.
First feed station
There will be food and energy drink top up at Hemingby Village Hall on Mill Lane. This falls at about 21 miles. Our new, improved Ms Hemingbys (Steph and Alex) will be there with a small band of volunteers between 08:00 and 16:30.
If you are made of sterner stuff (i.e. more optimism than common sense) and want to do something a little different this year, we have C2C2C200. IF you are choosing this option, you will need to let us know email@example.com but at the latest when signing in on the day, and you will get your limited edition wristband that will make sure you get the adulation / sniggers of those you pass / are passed by.
You will also be given a map of the Appendix route which is an out and back from Hemingby following the black-on-white arrows. An additional 25 miles and 1,700 feet of climbing to make a total of 200km / 5000' on the day. Hooahh!
Our rendezvous (at 55 miles) for lunch is Chapel Point Café, where we will have a band of volunteers lead by Torie (ignore her at your peril) You will be handed a voucher* by Team Torie which you can exchange for a bacon sandwich, sausage sandwich or cheese sandwich, along with a cup of tea / coffee. Even if you are not eating please check in with Torie so we know you've made it this far. * Remember Paul Simon told you about the wristbands....
In order to keep the queue time for lunch to a minimum there will be two queues in the café. If you are choosing simply from the free lunch menu issued please queue to the left, if you would like to buy something in addition to the free lunch you will need to queue to the right (and pay any price difference). If you struggle to tell the difference between left and right, may I suggest you take your passport and a phrase book on the day.
Although we make every effort to make this as smooth as possible, you are not trying to qualify for the Olympics, so remember that this is not your regular fast in and out feed station (the ride is supposed to be fun, remember!), so sit down, have a cup of tea and bacon butty, then dip your toes in the sea.
There are toilet facilities in the car park next to the café, where you will also find drinking water. Please don't ask Gary and his team at Chapel Point to fill up water bottles as this slows up service dramatically for the queue quickly forming behind you...
Second feed station
The return journey passes through Hemingby again (c80 miles) to mop up any flapjack or jelly babies that Ms Hemingby hasn't eaten yet, but this will only be open until 16:30. The final 20 miles is inevitably the hardest even though it is flatter, so make sure you are carrying some spare food for the final push, especially if you are likely to be running late and risk missing the final feed station closing time.
Home Sweet Home
We will be holding a BBQ at Lindum between 4:00 and 7:00pm, after you have returned via the Castle, and again you will be given a BBQ voucher and a bar voucher as you arrive at the Lindum and check in with Jeannine and team. (No wristband, no food. How often do I have to tell you, Johnson?) IF you don't make it back to Lindum, please make sure someone lets us know (numbers below): we can't task a Sea King to come and find you.
There will also be a few little extras in a handy 'helmet and shoes' bag for teams as they come in courtesy of Pipers, Impsport, Giant as well as the opportunity of a quick massage from Roma.
All the food and drinks en route have been provided through generous sponsorship and our volunteers.
We would like to thank Clydesdale Bank, APSS, Wilkin Chapman, Wright Vigar, Ringrose Law, Nicholsons, Parkinson Harness Technology, Savills, Starbucks bakery, Bridge McFarland, Brand Four, Small Beer, Allen Signs and Pipers Crisps all of whom have ensured that all costs are covered so all your donations can go to our chosen charities: MS Society, Cyclists Fighting Cancer and St Barnabas Hospice. (Last year we raised over £18k for Sophie's Story, Lincs & Notts Air Ambulance, and St Barnabas Hospice.
We're all grown ups...
Please remember it is your responsibility to ensure your bike is roadworthy and you can navigate yourself to and from the coast. Our route is only a suggestion to help you avoid busy roads and find the quieter roads to enjoy, as well as to chance upon some flapjack, jelly babies and energy drinks. There are some major roads to cross, primarily the A158 at Baumber and the A16 AG-for Haugham and South Thoresby.
As it is public roads, you must follow the Highway Code and the Laws of Physics will still apply:
•if the road goes downhill, you will speed up;
•if you try to headbutt a car, you will lose;
•If you try to stop using a front brake on gravel, Gravity will pay a sudden visit and you will have an interesting face rash.
If you are a regular long distance cyclist, you'll also know the importance of having the right tool to get you back home. We've seen this Kickstarter campaign which looks interesting (and yes, one is on order!).
If you do want to support the project / order one, then please visit http://8rHS5nW5.kckb.st (C2C2C will receive commission on orders made)
Please ride with consideration for other cyclists and motorists and don't litter - we ride through the best bits of Lincolnshire because they are pretty not because they are in need of idiots and rubbish.
The ride is unsupported, but feel free to have your own support vehicle, if you wish. We'll do all we can to help and co-ordinate if you are unable to complete the ride, but ultimately it is your responsibility to get yourself, and your bike, back to Lincoln. If you do have a support car for your team, please let any of our volunteer leaders know at Lindum, Hemingby or Chapel Point and pass on mobile numbers in case they can help out.
Mechanics from Giant at Doddington Hall will be on site at Lindum from approx 7:30 before moving on to Hemingby to sort out any minor niggles, but don't turn up expecting minor miracles or a free service to make a bike rideable.
Phew - that's a lot of dull but important stuff out of the way. Detention for anyone who hasn't read it.
See you all on Thursday 7 July. Bring sun tan lotion, sense of humour and plenty of water!
Dave / Jack / Claire / Dave / Jeannine /Torie
Holders of Level 2, Cycling Proficiency